– Source. This rescued porcupine is named Kemosabe and he’s quite the chatterbox! In humans, we call this rape. But the screaming actually comes long before the love-making. Porcupines must make contact to impale. And when the female is ready to mate, she has just an 8- to 12-hour window of fertility to work with. I had two porcupines in my backyard, one was at the top of the tree and the other was at the base. Slate is published by The Slate Group, a Graham Holdings Company. © Copyright Critter Control. I don't know if those are mating calls or if one wanted the other one to leave! Even dolphins, animals of respected intelligence and the default subject of chick tattoos, gang rape. If she’s not ready, she might try to bite him, tail-swipe him, scream in his general direction, or simply shake the urine off and run away. During the mating season, the female porcupine will initiate close contact with the male. “It’s not like a boy peeing,” says Roze. Up and Down arrows will open main level menus and toggle through sub tier links. For a male porcupine intent on winning his mate, success requires … You’d never guess they could sound so adorable. The male porcupine’s glans (tip of the penis) is covered in hundreds of conical, 1-millimeter spikes made of, ahem, “horny material.” Two other, larger spines (2 mm) hide out in pocket on the glans, called the sacculus urethralis, and come into view only when the penis erects. Now I have a “song” to match his/her beauty. Other noises include wails and shrieks. It was only around August to December that the testes descended into the scrotal sacs, just in time for screaming season. If two males are fighting over a female, agitated howls may be audible. Critter Control Logo. In forests across Canada and the United States, a peculiar mating ritual takes place each fall. When dominant male elephants are poached or culled out of the social hierarchy, adolescent males develop strange, violent behaviors, like wantonly murdering rhinoceroses. Slate relies on advertising to support our journalism. These days, it’s difficult to roll out of bed without being hit in the face with a four-headed echidna penis. People are excited about animals and science and bizarre penises—well, penises are an easy sell—but it’s also sort of weird that we may know more about yeti crabs, honey badgers, and blue dragon sea slugs than we do about some of the beasties in our own backyards. These unions can take place in the tree tops or on the forest floor, and are often accompanied by bizarre sounds. Poop. Watch next video Hilarious GPS prank. The male performs an elaborate dance and sprays urine over the head of the female. Uldis Roze knows these battles by their aftermath: “a storm of loose quills.” Roze has 35 years of experience working with these creatures and is widely regarded as the Porcupine King. Remembering the once-a-year, 12-hour-window of fertility, it’s all the more amazing that the typical female will be pregnant or lactating for 11 months a year—every year—for much of her life. However, given their plumbing, a berth of at least 7 feet seems like the way to go. The Internet calls it a golden shower.*. After mating, the female usually births two babies and the parents will share the responsibility of caring for the young ones. A porcupine’s main defense against predators consists of keeping its backside to a predator. Here’s the thing about female porcupines. Porcupines make a variety of vocalizations, some which can be heard at considerable distance. One of the olfactory signals porcupines … As the season progressed she sought and accepted more frequent tactile stimulation (presumably from the human investigators). Scientists call it the Whitten Effect. (Porcupines can live 20 to 30 years, though the females do eventually experience menopause and bow out of the reproduction role.). Hardly an hour passes without the discovery of some ridiculous-looking new species, bizarre adaptation, or horrendous sex organ. I know what you’re thinking—quills. Even more amazing, Roze has witnessed in the tree canopy a male firing off salvos from one branch at a female on another. This mating call attracts males, which then fight brutally with each other. Other noises include wails and shrieks. You see, the biggest holdup to porcupine reproduction is location. Box 170 1186 Acadia Highway East Orland, Maine 04431 89.9 Blue Hill • 99.9 Bangor If your windows aren’t painted shut, you might open them at night and listen for the tender sounds of porcupine coitus—stark, night-piercing shrieks that could be likened to the noises produced by a banshee banging a Velociraptor. Some porcupine sounds at night may be similar to a bird's caw. None of this is to minimize the crime of rape in humans. Seven months after mating the female gives birth to a single baby. When property owners hear porcupine noises or notice other signs of their presence, the quickest route to safe exclusion and removal is contacting Critter Control. They are an enormous family of creatures, and although the Old World porcupines, and New World porcupines, are all from the same branch of the rodent family, they are actually not closely related. Porcupines mate in late summer and early fall. If anyone's ever owned a rat, hamster, or guinea pig (porcupine's closest relative), you know that they leave pellets of crap everywhere in their enclosure. Tab will move on to the next part of the site rather than go through menu items. Mating can take place in a variety of settings, varying from tree tops to the forest floor. Sounds include moans, grunts, coughs, wails, whines, shrieks, and tooth clicking. 4. We are living in the Golden Age of Internet Animalia. You can hear how the one at top screams louder every time the one at the bottom moves (you can hear branches cracking) This mass of starchy, bluish-white material is called a vaginal plug or mating plug. He first climbs the female’s tree and stands watch from a lower branch until the time is right. The male porcupine rears up on his hind legs, walks toward the female with a fully erect penis, and proceeds to soak her in urine with a spray forceful enough to shoot 6 feet. Few animals are clever enough to successfully hunt porcupines, though mountain lions, fishers, and Chevy Impalas have the most success. In fact, the porcupine is so well-respected, it wanders the forest day or night without much hurry or fear. But porcupines? You may choose from the sounds … People may notice several porcupine sounds when the animals are nearby. The screaming porcupine is a female letting an ardent male know she’s not in the mood. All of this contributes to a remarkable 90 percent success rate in female porcupine reproduction. The porcupine is another one of these species. They are very vocal during mating season and during attacks. Finally, you know how you grew up thinking porcupines could launch their quills like projectiles, and you thought that seemed a little far-fetched but, you know, nature’s crazy, so you never really went looking for answers? But not without raping them first. Everyone agrees this looks kind of dopey but, during porcupine coitus, there just aren’t many safe places for a guy to touch. At this point, many male animals would simply mount the female whether she was interested or not. Either way, the musk-shake brings all the boys to the yard, and once they are there, it’s a brawl for dominance. If two males are fighting over a female, agitated howls may be audible. Porcupines are very vocal during mating season. Get too close and you’ll snag 500 quills engineered to embed themselves deeper and deeper into flesh. In forests across Canada and the United States, a peculiar mating ritual takes place each fall. And that’s great! Porcupines generally have two methods for handling relationships: withdrawal and attack. During mating season, both males and females make these sounds, along with wails, shrieks, and siren-like screaming. Which means you need not run for the hills if you see one. We have only seen a porcupine once, in a provincial park in Nova Scotia (Kejemakujik) more than 20 years ago. Damage caused by porcupines is mainly confined to stripping bark and leaves from plants. If the female accepts the nose rubbing and, after the initial nose rubbing test, the female is still keen on the male, the male will then stand on its hind legs and the female allows him to urinate all over her body (kinky). We’re so accustomed to this by now that we just go, “Nature’s crazy, man!” and get on with our Facebooking—er, jobs. And you'll never see this message again. If you value our work, please disable your ad blocker. Every sound in our library is an authentic professional recording and labeled correctly. As my years go by, I so appreciate your nature sounds … My friends, porcupines are rape-proof. During the porcupine mating season, people may also hear a host of sounds including whining, moaning, and grunting. Correction, Dec. 3, 2012: This article originally misidentified the suborder of rodent to which mice and rats belong. Rodents make up about 40% of all the mammal species on Earth. Navigate to homepage. All of the sounds in our library are studio-grade quality. In July/August, as the mating season approached, the female porcupine would often rub her genitals on structures such as food and water dishes, sticks, and the cage wire. Water striders coerce sex by threatening to call in predators if the females don’t submit. The lovers may go through this process several times throughout the course of an hour until one of them climbs up on a branch and declares “Enough!”—though to our unrefined human ears, this just sounds like yet more screaming. And while I don’t claim to know what goes on in a rhinoceros’ brain, I think you could probably define sentience as having a major problem with all of that. Using the same term with animals is problematic, but walk with me. (He also has a delightful new book available—guess what it’s about!) They first begin their ludicrous lovemaking with some nose rubbing. During the porcupine mating season, people may also hear a host of sounds including whining, moaning, and grunting. They will be very aggressive because only the males that are strong and powerful are going to get a female to mate with.The male will dance for the female and then urinate on her to get her attention. Some porcupine sounds at night may be similar to a bird's caw. However, curious dogs might get a muzzle full of quills, which are painful and can become infected if not removed promptly. Join Slate Plus to continue reading, and you’ll get unlimited access to all our work—and support Slate’s independent journalism. Seals rape. They will part afte… You can cancel anytime. Enter and space open menus and escape closes them as well. They are interested in mating for only about 8-12 hours the entire year. Porcupine Quills are dangerous to dogs because once they make contact with the skin, the quills can migrate further in and cause internal damage. Eventually, it all works out and the two enjoy about one to five minutes of delicate procreation. The prehensile-tailed porcupines or coendous (genus Coendou) are found in Central and South America. There’s not a lot I can do to make this sound romantic, so I’ll just say it. Porcupine sex is not the exercise in S&M you might imagine but it … Porcupines whine, moan and grunt, and also engage in battle chatter, a strident sound made by clicking their teeth. You’ve run out of free articles. Related Videos. Some porcupine sounds at night may be similar to a bird’s caw. No proper Internet dialogue about animal sex should conclude without a graphic description of a penis—and lucky for you, the porcupine penis is covered in tiny spines! Late summer and early fall are the mating times for the Porcupine. While it appears true that females are much more receptive to being stroked and touched during the mating season than during any other … Kelly, you’ve got a better shot at explaining this one than explaining echoes—but when other myomorph rodents like mice and rats piddle on their mates, we know male pheromones induce estrus in the females. Humans are most likely to hear porcupine noises if the animal feels threatened. A baby porcupine is called a porcupette. All contents © 2020 The Slate Group LLC. That mess of quills is equally effective against its own kind. Thus instead of force, the male porcupine must use persuasion. By joining Slate Plus you support our work and get exclusive content. If two males are fighting over a female, agitated howls may be audible. The waiting game is now on. Porcupines mate in a very bizarre way. Did I mention porcupine testes seem to be of the Go-Go Gadget variety? Porcupines whine, moan and grunt, and also engage in battle chatter, a strident sound made by clicking their teeth. Community Radio WERU FM P.O. Even though they are physically slow, they are intelligent and able to learn … To make matters … The major difference between Old and New world species is that the Old World … I have heard porcupine sounds described as shrieks, but this was a more rhythmic, conversational tone." Running and fighting tend to be pretty unromantic. During this short interval of time, usually in November-December, the female will accept the golden shower from the male. These fights occur because the preestrus female climbs a tree and vocalizes loudly, making a sound similar to that of a cat. The North American porcupine is found in New England, the upper Midwest and western United States and most of Canada. There are 29 species of porcupine, but you are probably curious about the North American porcupine Erethizon dorsatum, which is found in Canada, Alaska, and much of the northern and western United States. Male porcupines are horny. Many of the sounds in our library are the only known recordings of that animal. Porcupines cannot “shoot” their quills, but the quills come out quite easily on … Two other formerly recognized Neotropical tree porcupine genera, Echinoprocta and Sphiggurus, have been subsumed into Coendou, since Sphiggurus was shown by genetic studies to be polyphyletic, while Echinoprocta … Porcupines have a reputation as tough customers because of their sharp quills. The males can also vocalize to keep other males out of a given area. A mouth full of these painful pins has caused many an animal to starve to death. Unfortunately, being the second-largest rodent in North America, porcupines also fall out of trees quite a bit. Male porcupines may give vent to the occasional scream as well, but it’s from frustration, not pain: the female is only sexually receptive 8-12 hours per year. In the course of Roze’s research, he noted that most of the adult males he studied kept their testicles within the abdomen for the much of the year. Once a male has won access to his ladyfriend, the right to mate is his to lose. “It’s more like an ejaculation, and it’s definitely the strangest part of porcupine courting.”, We don’t know for sure what the pissing is all about—R. Once the male and female have called it quits, a magical seal forms in the vulva through some sort of enzymatic action in the semen. Porcupine mating involves short periods of fertility, urinary ejaculation and vicious battles between males. It has come to my attention that the primary mating ritual between porcupines involves the male urinating on the female. Male bedbugs stab the females with their penis and then leave it there. (Return to the corrected sentence.). The site navigation utilizes arrow, enter, escape, and space bar key commands. Additionally, it helps prevent other males from having a chance at fertilization. The mating habits of … And not rape-proof like the magical vaginas of Todd Akin’s fever dreams. The male porcupine begins the mating process with a high-pressure stream of urine that … Though we don’t know whether it’s lucky for the lady porcupine. Smell ya later: Porcupines are pungent. The sounds listed below represent the world's largest studio-grade sound library of North American animals. (Yes, porcupines climb mother-cussing trees! 3. This means the fellas need to come from distant territories to find, win, woo, and mount her if they are to pass on their genes. 2. Alas, science has yet to reveal to us whether any of these tiny tines induce orgasm, direct semen, help the penis stay inserted, or simply look badass, but we can at least agree they give whole new meaning to the euphemism “prick.”. All rights reserved. Left and right arrows move across top level links and expand / close menus in sub levels. During mating season, females communicate through high-pitched sounds; a threatened porcupine may chatter its teeth to ward off any looming threats; males use fierce noises while competing during mating … Though the male can’t force the female to have sex with him, he does have one move that might help get her in the mood. 01:54. After listening to porcupines battle one fall night, Roze returned the next day and collected 1,474 quills belonging to three separate males. All rights reserved. Poop everywhere. It's no surprise then that they have a hard time finding love. At least their quills are coated with antibacterial fatty acids that seem to protect against infection after self-impalement.). The male rests his hands on her tail’s quill-less underside or simply allows them to go limp at his sides. First the the “hog” fight, next the raccoon scuffle, now the porcupine squeals…can’t wait to see/hear what’s next. Other noises include wails and shrieks. Except for mamas raising babies—which are known adorably as porcupettes—porcupines are mostly solitary creatures. – Source. During mating season, both males and females make these sounds, along with wails, shrieks, and siren … It’s true, the North American porcupine (Erethizon dorsatum) is equipped with something like 30,000 needle-sharp back daggers, and many of them stand between the female’s hoo-ha and the next generation of prickly progeny. Scale that up to a 35-pound porcupine, and that's a lot of crap. In such a situation, the porcupine will clack its teeth before straightening its quills in a defensive posture and swatting its tail. Very, very horny. If the strategy works and the female is ready, she’ll lift her tail and allow the male to mount. Because olfactory signaling is an imperfect science—who knows how long it’ll take for the guys to show up after a female releases her musk—guarding can begin several days before estrus. During the porcupine mating season, people may also hear a host of sounds including whining, moaning, and grunting. Males often fight over females. "It´s not unusual to see a winning, mating male with a hundred or so quills of rival males´ tails stuck in his face," says Sweitzer. Types Of Porcupine Noises. Some of the quills bore signs of bite marks, showing that porcupines are practiced in removing rivals’ quills from their own skin after such skirmishes. If rape is nonconsensual sex, then ducks rape. Porcupines’ back, sides, and tail are covered with thousands of stiff, needle-like, finely barbed hairs (quills) for defense. I mean rape-proof like the anti-rape condom. When the baby is born, its quills are soft. Photo by John Pitcher/iStockphoto/Thinkstock. They make a great deal of vocalizations to draw a mate to them. Less well known is the fact that they also use noises to warn away predators. It may assist in reproduction by trapping semen within or dissipating to release more spermatozoa. Females assist in this process before they come into estrus by lacing the air with a pungent perfume—a come-hither scent created by a combination of vaginal mucous and urine that not even Brad Pitt could make appealing. I bring it up only to note that the animal kingdom can be a dark place. (Sounds like marriage.) Well, it’s not true. They either scurry away, looking for the nearest tree, or they stick out their quills and unleash hell.